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Way-Too-Early game by game predictions

We will finish the 2015-16 season with 12 wins and four losses.

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Since I trumped Bossman Jason Butt last season with my coup de grâce I took the initiative to bust out the one-liners to break down this year's slate of games.

Here they are, your way-too-early game-by-game predictions:

Week 1 - 4:25PM - At Broncos

Another season opener against Denver IN Denver?! Guess what. The Ravens come out with a bold, Doritos commercial-worthy crunch to erase memories of the lopsided, 49-27 loss back in 2013.

Week 2 - 4:05PM - At Raiders

This is a must-win road game. A "W" should come in handy down the stretch.

Week 3 - 1:00PM - Bengals

Season-opener against a divisional rival. Jimmy Smith lives up to the contract-extension hype that was signed on April 21, 2015 by shutting down A.J. Green. 3-0.

Week 4 - 8:25PM - At Steelers

Our first loss is a painful one against the woeful Steelers. No sweeping Pittsburgh in 2015.

Week 5 - 1:00PM - Browns

Steelers won't be swept, but Cleveland on the other hand could use some dusting this year. 4-1.

Week 6 - 4:25PM - At 49ers

The 49ers roster is going under the knife and seems like the operation is one that is pretty power-draining. Funny how two of our former wideouts are playing on the same team. Sorry Anquan and Torrey, we're leaving you empty-handed. W.

Week 7 - 8:30PM - At Cardinals

Something about these 8:30 p.m. games are iffy. Arizona, if not Seattle, is primed to win the NFC West. (Crossing fingers I'm right.) L.

Week 8 - 1:00PM - Chargers

I have more faith in the Ravens than Phillip Rivers has in the Chargers. W before rest.

Week 9 - BYE WEEK

Week 10 - 1:00PM - Jaguars

7-2.

Week 11 - 1:00PM - Rams

Judging by a quick glance of the Rams' schedule, they should have a winning record by this point in the season. Therefore, this is a coin-flip game. (Hate me today), I'll go with the upset. 7-3.

Week 12 - 8:30PM - At Browns

Prophesying that we sweep the Browns yet sure doesn't help that this game has an 8:30 kickoff time. Eeks. 8-3.

Week 13 - 1:00PM - At Dolphins

We're straight-crushing Miami. Joe Flacco loves games played in Florida.

Week 14 - 8:30PM - Seahawks

Is Russell Wilson playing baseball? 10-3. Cue in My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion.

Week 15 - 1:00PM - Chiefs

Without trying to tank too long I say that the Chiefs' staff out-coaches ours on a snowy afternoon in Baltimore. Yikes.

Week 16 - 8:30PM - Steelers

We're splitting games with the Steelers. W.

Week 17 - 1:00PM - At Bengals

We stand at 11-4. A solid outing here could help clinch home-field advantage and an extra week of rest in the 2015 NFL Playoffs.