"He's on my all-time hit list."
"Put your goggles on cause there's going to be blood and guts everywhere!"
"An old man playing a young man's game...."
"Man, he needs to get his weight up"
"I look in the eyes of all my victims before I take their lunch money."
""The NFC South is a finesse division. The AFC North is a physical, downhill, blue-collar football."
"Make sure you mow my lawn too while you’re out there. Keep it clean for me."
And of course, the Crown Jewel, "Ice Up, Son."
Steve Smith Sr., the sultan of smacktalk on the gridiron (really--name one player who is better. Just one.), has offered up another prime roast for the viral grill. When you first read this, though, did you think that he really meant to give Santa Claus a death threat?
"You come down my chimney in the middle of the night, that’s going to be your last delivery."
--Steve Smith Sr., at a charity event.
He set Twitter ablaze with this quip. Sports websites galore ran headlines about how Smith had attempted to "slay" Santa. Are there no bounds to his competitive and challenging fire?
He was kidding. Totally kidding.
Do you really think Smith is that crass and bullheaded so as to promise true violence to a tenderhearted, gray, gift-bearing icon?
The proof of his innocence:
Gregory Good, recognized nationwide as The Catman (Twitter: @TheCatman1), a Hall-of-Fame Superfan for the Carolina Panthers, knew Smith for his entire career there in Charlotte and considers his trash talk formidable. "Steve Smith can back his up." Good said. I don't know anyone, anywhere who can back it up like he can."
His favorite trash-talk interaction involved Smith and then-rookie Josh Norman. "He told Josh Norman that he was just a rookie. 'Make the team first, and then talk to me.'"
"Josh Norman is now a shutdown down corner, and he tries to talk (trash), but he is not as good (at it) as Steve Smith."
Conversely, Catman recognizes Smith's humane side. "I would trust him with my kids."
Remember, not only is Steve Smith nominated for the Walter Payton Man of the Year award (Vote for him by tweeting this: #SmithWPOYChallenge), but he gives kids shopping sprees at toy stores on the regular. Pretty safe bet that he would not seriously have a grudge against the very embodiment of hope for some kids during this season.
But, because I care about the welfare of those media pundits that would not be able to discern Steve Smith Seriousness from Steve Smith Sarcasm, I present a tool to help in many circumstances:
Oh, and one more tip:
Don't go down his chimney in the middle of the night.