Good afternoon all,
Welcome to the Life of the Unluckiest Fantasy Football Owner series. I am your humble, tearful host, Daniel Park. Here we will rejoice, cry, exchange advice and (hopefully) win together.
I promised myself that I would draft wisely and cut down on the mistakes I made managing my team last fall.
If I learned anything from 2013, I didn't. OK, OK, greed is evil.
I am in a fantasy league with five other Baltimore Beatdown writers and six staff members of The Purple Reign Show. No money is involved (thank God), and the epic battles will be for our souls. (Just kidding.)
I drafted a phenomenal team. Listen to it here.
I selected Eddie Lacy and took his handcuff James Starks late in the draft. I predicted and bet a Chipotle meal against my friend that Robert Griffin III will not compete in all 16 games this season. That explains why I took Kirk Cousins; Captain Kirk has the weapons to flourish if Griffin III goes down.
Tom Brady had to be scooped and running backs Toby Gerhart Andre Ellington's upside were too glorious for me to see them on someone else's roster.
I wish God blessed me with the gift of predicting the future. I mean, prophesying is that, kind of, right? Wes Welker is suspended for four games. Boom. Marvin Jones is out for a "few weeks."
Eddie Lacy suffered a concussion two nights ago in the Packers' loss in Seattle. It's happening again. Marlon Brown isn't a surefire start for now, or is he? Ellington, Brady and Sammy Watkins all have either a "P" or a "Q" next to their names as if they need improvement with their "please"s and "thank you"s.
Oh, that's right, Jordan Reed, my Redskins' tight end. Reed is listed as probable for their game against a Texans defense swearing to clown and watt the hell out of Griffin III and Co.
(Swearinger, Clowney, and Watt if that flew over your head.)
Welp, what's there to say? Yahoo, ESPN, NFL, CBS, XYZ.
Fantasy Football will always be the source of my gloom.