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Life of the Unluckiest Fantasy Football Team Owner: Trust your gut

Fantasy expert, shmantasy shmexpert. At the end of the day, we make our decisions by ... trusting our instincts.

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Your instincts will save you.

When your gut tells you to start Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr., you listen. When your gut tells you not to swipe your credit card for the umpteenth time this week, you listen. Obeying our muffin tops, yes, this prevents regrettable evenings.

After reading a fellow Korean brother's advice on, James Koh's, I thought why not? I log into my ESPN account, drag Brady's name down to the bottom of the bench, move Kirk Cousins to the starter's slot, pray to God this is right and click "save changes."

Damn. Lady UnLuck strikes again.

Cousins played lights out against the Eagles in Week 3. Against the Giants on Thursday night, Captain Kirk seemed like he was playing with the lights off. This man completed just 19 passes (23 if you count the ones to the Giants' defense) and get this -- FOUR passes were completed to the Big Three (Pierre Garcon led with dos, DeSean Jackson and Andre Roberts finished with uno).

I'll be honest: I watched the Washington Redskins practice almost everyday this summer at Bon Secours Training Center, and yes, I saw huge potential in the kid. But four picks? Yo: that's inexcusable.

He connected with Andre Roberts in the second quarter and I genuinely thought THIS IS IT. MANY MORE TO COME. Lady UnLuck is ... quite the flirt. She'll blow you a few kisses first, grab your attention -- which is your heart -- rip it out and throw it into a river that flows into a ocean of disappointment. I got carried away, sorry.

That's how I feel though. My opponent is starting Cardinals' wideout Larry Fitzgerald and Steven Hauschka for God knows what reason. Both their respective teams have the weekend off and yet I'm planning to lose.

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Seriously if Malan's team wins I might retire early. I added Coby Fleener (Jordan Reed is still out) and Jordan Matthews, who caught two touchdowns last weekend when he wasn't on my roster, which means he'll probably pull the same card Cousins pulled on me three nights ago.

The underwhelming Eddie Lacy better pick up his act at Chicago. The Packers' defense better spring to life and limit the Bears' offense to field goals for my main man Robbie Gould. Both Sammy Watkins and Toby Gerhart are listed as Probable for this weekend.

Wish me luck.#LUFFTO (lose) over and out.

Call it whatever you’d like: bad luck or mismanagement, terrible pre-draft analysis,
Guess the Fantasy Football gods are telling me to pay my dues,
welcome to The Life of the Unluckiest Fantasy Football Team Owner because I LUFFTO lose!