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Baltimore Beatdown Power Rankings, Week 1: Seahawks roost atop, Eagles, 49ers tied

I’d call this the Knowledge Rankings but then …

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Knowledge is power and I’d call this the Knowledge Rankings but then …

… who would read the rest of that? The Seahawks dominated the Packers on opening night. The Falcons stunned the Saints. The BillsVikings and Dolphins were this weekend’s wreakers of HAVOC. (Shout outs to my VCU alum!)

Back to football. Ahem. Every team in the NFC East not named the Eagles lost, but hey, football is a sport of attrition – how far will our team bend without breaking? These power rankings are based on tirelessly watching NFL Replay. If you don’t have this tool, ask for my ID and password.

Disagree with my rankings? File complaints and concerns @imDPerent (pronounced I’m-DIP-erent).

1 SEATTLE Seahawks (1-0)

Russell Wilson looked awfully comfortable dropping dimes into the baskets of Percy Harvin and tight end Zach Miller. Wilson threw a touchdown strike to like-new wide receiver Ricardo Lockette. (Four-year vet if you’re wondering.) Beast Mode played like he was in his pajamas and penny loafers, shredding the Packers for 110 yards and two scores on 20 attempts.

2 DENVER Broncos (1-0)

Sunday night’s win was a team win and no, Peyton Manning is not the team. Chef Boyar-DeMarcus Ware registered 1.5 sacks and the Broncos defense haggled Andrew Luck at various times of the game: three sacks, two interceptions. Aqib Talib made his first impact play for his new squadron by tipping a pass intended for Dwayne Allen, which then dropped into the soft hands of free safety Rahim Moore.

T-3 PHILADELPHIA Eagles (1-0)

The Eagles’ high-octane offense in 2013 just got higher. Disregard fantasy – Darren Sproles (71) ran three yards less than McCoy (74) on 10 less carries. The Eagles offense, after an agonizing start, ran the show with 34 unanswered points.

T-3 SAN FRANCISCO 49ers (1-0)

Is there a larger 49ers fan base in Dallas than Cowboys? Seemed that way. The linebacker who is playing in place of the suspended Aldon Smith, Dan Skuta, yanked the ball out of DeMarco Murray’s hands and No. 29 -- Chris Culliver -- in red took the fumble to the house. Kaepernick looked like Dappernick.

5 ATLANTA Falcons (1-0)

Did I envision Drew Brees’ all-time record against Atlanta (13-3) to fall? No. You didn’t either. The Falcons earned this ranking by edging the Cardinals, Dolphins and Bengalsafter out-grinding the Saints, a feat that I don’t see Arizona, Miami or Cincinnati pulling off. Kudos to Matt Ryan for keeping his team in the game; Matt Bryant is Mr. More Clutch.

6 CINCINNATI Bengals (1-0)

The Bengals barely missed the Top 5 by not being able to dominate a team surrounding a lot of media hype – positive and negative – in the Ravens. The Bengals offensive line did a hell of a job protecting their Golden Child and their defense held the Ravens' high-powered offense to a mere 16 points. We’ll get to Baltimore laaaater.

7 ARIZONA Cardinals (1-0)

Carson Palmer made some jaw-dropping passes and was at pone point ... elusive behind a collapsing pocket. On missed opportunities to getting the greatest wide receiver in franchise history Larry Fitzgerald (1 catch, 22 yards), Head Coach Bruce Arians said in his postgame interview, "But I’m not interested in anybody’s numbers other than the ‘W’s. Those days are long gone."

8 MIAMI Dolphins (1-0)

The Dolphins are in for sunnier days if the two-headed beast in their backfield, Lamar Miller and Knowshon Moreno, could continue their hot running streak. No pun intended.This high-quality, gratifying triumph over the Patriots might be shaping into an epic playoff picture. #2Early2Claim

9 DETROIT Lions (1-0)

I get that – they smushed the un-mighty Giants – but hey, the Stafford-Megatron connection is reaching levels people could only dream of. You’re witnessing history, regardless of it being made on a broken play and two defensive backs collide into one another. You’re watching a future Hall of Famer making his first-ever Super Bowl run. You know when a quarterback places a pass perfectly into a receiver’s basket … while throwing off his back foot … that’s a legitimate reason to BELIEVE.

10 GREEN BAY Packers (0-1)

They lost to the defending Super Bowl champions with finesse. Aa-Rod never looked Sherman’s way, but maybe he should have tested the waters. Wideout Jarrett Boykin is still young, and maybe that’s why Rodgers shied away from letting the ball sail right.

11 NEW ENGLAND Patriots (0-1)

Complacency in New England? No … The Patriots rarely lose season openers. They are 10-0 since 2004. The Pats were shutout by the Bills on September 7th, 2003 (31-0), yet as you history nuts may realize, the Patriots won the Super Bowl that season.

12 CAROLINA Panthers (1-0)

Derek Anderson was Super … effective spelling in for Cam Newton, who was inactive with a ribs injury. Anderson impressed, with his Game Manager skills and the Panthers defense can challenge Seattle’s squad a run for their money. It's 2014 and I'm still proclaiming that Deangelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart is a dynamic tandem.

13 NEW ORLEANS Saints (0-1)

The Saints defense relented 568 yards to their divisional rivals. 13th, an unlucky number, perhaps a Marques Colston fumble in post-regulation time. I guarantee that the Saints won’t let the Dirty Birds take their "W" in the second go-around.

14 SAN DIEGO Chargers (0-1)

Unfortunately for the Chargers, they let up an 11-point lead. Phillip Rivers fumbled a snap on third-and-eight in the fourth quarter. The offense failed to pick on cornerback Tony Jefferson more often than they did. The defense played high-level for most of the game yet loosened their shoestrings towards the wane. On the game-winning drive for the Cardinals, CP3 (Palmer) picked up a first down on his 34-year-old, crusty legs. San Diego will bounce back. …

15 INDIANAPOLIS Colts (0-1)

The Colts lost their best defensive pass rusher in Robert Mathis. Andrew Luck and Co. could not capitalize on a handful of opportunities in Denver. The team broke, despite rallying a furious comeback against a revamped Denver defense. The Colts host the Eagles next week, a marquee (and must-win?) matchup.

16 NEW YORK Jets (1-0)

The Jets' allowed the lowest passing yards (158) and still only nicked the Raiders by five points. Poor excuse, but dating back to 2009, the Raiders don’t fare well in the East Coast; they've lost 13 straight when traveling to the EC. Considering that the Raiders’ record is 11-10 when playing in the west, facts are facts. The Jets’ defense flustered rookie Derek Carr all game long and their rushing attack ran wild for 212 yards. Geno Smith’s development is what matters most to this team’s success and fans should hope that the momentum from the last month of his rookie campaign will carry over. …

17 TENNESSEE Titans (1-0)

(Who knows), the Titans won’t make the playoffs -- but that win vs. the Chiefs was damn convincing. I’m speechle. …

18 BUFFALO Bills (1-0)

EJ Manuel walked into the endzone, did his best rendition of Ladainian Tomlinson’s finger-roll touchdown celebration AND then shushed the crowd. Basically, he told me, "shut up and watch." Like the Jets BF, the Bills running backs mowed the lawn for 193 yards. Manuel is a dual-threat and Spiller, FJax and former 49ers backfield specialist Anthony Dixon could, as a whole, average 6.44 yards per carry. That deserves a "ZoMg."

19 PITTSBURGH Steelers (1-0)

The Steelers could be ranked lower but because I don’t see them losing to the Vikings or the Bears. … Well, actually, I might rescind that soon. The Steelers allowed Cleveland's Terrance West to rush for 100 yards in his rookie debut. Four of the Browns’ running backs averaged 6.3 yards or more per carry. The Black-and-Yellow were up 27-3 at halftime before shutting down and won 30-27. Ben Roethlisberger is disgustingly good when passing on the run.

20 MINNESOTA Vikings (1-0)

Cordarrelle Patterson is the next Percy Harvin. Let’s hope that the Vikings keep him. Matt Cassell was efficient against a stingy Rams defense but then again, Sam Bradford’s backup, second-year Anthony Dixon helped the Vikings’ case … tra - lot.

21 CHICAGO Bears (0-1)

The Bears offense put up 427 yards against the Bills. They won’t like what’s next on their menu: San Francisco. The Bears execute well, and per usual, the offense revolves around centerpiece Matt Forte, who currently leads the team in receiving yards (87) and in rushing attempts (17). Chris Conte has to cut down on his mistakes if the Bears want to climb up this ladder.

22 BALTIMORE Ravens (0-1)

Don’t laugh at Andy Dalton’s hi-larious/deous pass to the ball boy. The Bengals had the last guffaw after Flacco made his share of ugly throws. The Ravens’ Steve Smith flexed on Sunday but the Ravens took way-62-much pass attempts from Flacco to lose. Let's go on a pass attempt diet. ...

23 KANSAS CITY Chiefs (0-1)

Don’t overreact but $68 million is a lot, Alex, now keep your composure against the Broncos next week. …

24 TAMPA BAY Buccaneers (0-1)

The Bucs’ pirate ship isn’t sinking … not yet. Captain Lovie Smith is leading under the public’s strict perusal and a one-score loss against Derek Anderson and the Panthers is not the best way to start the season. ...

25 HOUSTON Texans (1-0)

We'll wait for Jadeveon Clowney to return from his anthroscopic knee surgery ... Ryan Fitzpatrick might have the weapons to prosper in Houston.

26 JACKSONVILLE Jaguars (0-1)

Gus Bradley’s Jaguars couldn’t believe it. I wonder what they were thinking. We just took a commanding 17-point lead against an early pick to reach the postseason. Whoa. We've sacked Nick Foles five times and picked him off once, half of what he threw all last season. We're good. 2 hours later. Never mind.

27 DALLAS Cowboys (0-1)

The Cowboys had a share of humble pie at their dinner party. The defense looked at home -- allowing the 49ers to run. all. over. them. The worst defense in the league a year ago didn't get too much a makeover. Kaepernick was sacked once with zero interceptions, whereas Romo was sacked three times and tossed three picks. Yikes.

28 CLEVELAND Browns (0-1)

The Browns will eventually crack the Top 15 if/when they start winning.

For now, whether it’s by three points or 300, a loss is a loss.

29 WASHINGTON Redskins (0-1)

Earlier this year I created videos on how the Redskins defense could finish in the Top 5and what Coach Jay Gruden brings to the offense. Maybe the prophesies will fulfill themselves at their own paces? What’s worse? Scoring two field goals or scoring a touchdown only to have the extra point attempt blocked? The Rams and the Redskins tied for the lowest points Week One, at six apiece.

30 ST. LOUIS Rams (0-1)

Austin Dixon or Shaun Hill? What gives? Brian Quick bolstered his career stat sheet to give him an upper-hand when he’s job hunting in 2016. OK, thinking too far ahead, say you? The Rams are doomed until they find stability under center. Without a quarterback, teams will stack the box and Zac Stacy (or whoever else wants to try to fit the gap), will end up crammed like exam study guides. Or jammed ... like morning toast.

31 OAKLAND Raiders (0-1)

The Raiders offense has, "Handle with Care" stickers taped all over it. When the implosion occurs, who knows? MJD and DMC are acronyms nobody will care to Google in 10 years. Also, don’t test Charles Woodson. With his glorious snag last week against the Jets he joined HOFer Darrell Green as the only players to have an interception in 17 consecutive seasons. (Green with 19).

32 NEW YORK Giants (0-1)

I feel like a New York Giant after pulling an all-niter in the library. Dreary.