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Since almost every NFL outlet or website in the blogosphere posted their opinions on where-and-why the 32 teams stand after Week 14’s slate of games we've -- well, Daniel -- did something different. Introducing … the first edition of Beatdown’s Power Rankings in ... haiku format.
Again, there's a pool full of rankings and we dive in it:
1 – PACKERS (10-3) +1
Aaron Rodge and Co.,
Are Super Bowl favorites
No joke at Lambeau.
2 – PATRIOTS (10-3) -1
Belichick-mating
Whether chess or on the field,
no outsmarting Bill.
3 – BRONCOS (10-3) +1
Don’t you know by now
Defense wins championships
56.9.
4 – SEAHAWKS (9-4) +4
L.O.B. is back
Sanchez is an imposter?
Injury-free D.
5 – COLTS (9-4) +5
Resiliency
Pays off for the Colts offense
Amazing comeback.
6 – CARDINALS (10-3) -3
Bruce Arians. Hand
him the coach of the Year a-
ward already, sheesh.
7 – EAGLES (9-4) -1
Chip Kelly again
Taking the Eagles to Vic -
tory, no Michael.
8 – LIONS (9-4) +1
Do the Lions have
the tools to win in the play-
offs or pretending?
9 – COWBOYS (9-4) -4
DeMarco Murr-
ay could take this team pretty
Far up or far down.
10 – STEELERS (8-5) +2
Le’Veon Bell, wow
There anyone you’d rather
have in your backfield?
11 – BENGALS (8-4-1) EVEN
I’m more excited
for the #Rematch at Pittsburgh
Yes, Week 17
12 – CHARGERS (8-5) +6
Wild Card in their line
of sight will they push to make
the postseason, no.
13 – RAVENS (8-5) EVEN
Six sacks by Ravens
Dean Pees’ defense masterpiece
Versus Miami
14 – CHIEFS (7-6) -7
Needing a win they
Couldn’t overcome the Cards
Cold deck or misdeal?
15 – DOLPHINS -1 (7-6)
Why abandon run?
12 carries for Lamar Mill...
does not make much sense.
16 – BILLS (7-6) EVEN
Win the hard road games
No one will doubt your defense
close game no excuse.
17 – TEXANS (7-6) +3
Fitzpatrick’s son should
calculate the team’s odds of
make ‘16 Playoffs.
18 – 49ERS (7-6) -3
Yowzas for San Fran
Dapper-nick days are over
49ers, shrug.
19 – RAMS (6-7) EVEN
Every team in
NFC West deserves a
Wild Card berth this year?
20 – BROWNS (7-6) -3
Learn from Peyton Q-
B Ratings don’t mean much, lose
with 32 ticks.
21 – VIKINGS (6-7) +2
Winning in OT
is still a win, bubble screen
or not, the Jets stink.
22 – FALCONS (5-8) +5
Two hundred fifty
nine yards for Julio Jones
eleven catches
23 – PANTHERS (4-8-1) +2
Road to Super Bowl
requires a defense that the
Panthers destroyed Saints.
24 – SAINTS (5-8) -2
Turtle wins the race
Brees a truck driver saying
"See you in three weeks."
25 – GIANTS (4-9) -2
The G-men are proud
Rank higher than their rivals
Good luck with draft picks!
26 – BEARS (5-8) -2
Two game losing-streak,
there’s not really much to say.
Get well soon, Brandon!
27 – BUCCANEERS (2-11) -1
There’s always next year,
the pirates growl, there’s always
next season to reap.
28 – JETS (2-11) EVEN
I predicted that
they’d win in Minnesota
"Defend Bubble Screen"
#AddCourse
29 – RAIDERS (2-11) +2
Dear, dear the Rai-dears
Shocked us by waxing San Fran
24-13.
30 – REDSKINS (3-10) EVEN
Redskins need to change
Jersey color, team name or
front office, Snyder.
31 – TITANS (2-11) -2
Between the Titans
and Jags, I’m not sure who’s worse
Flip Two-Face’s coin.
32 – JAGUARS (2-11) EVEN
Looking forward to
Jaguars-Titans Thursday night
Matchup Week 16.
Rankings: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |