Daniel Park: 1...2...3...4...I've been counting your mistakes to fall asleep.
Jason Butt: When did you start taking Comedy 112?
Park: HA! I actually...wait that was a pretty good come back.
Butt: Before I let you bore our readership, let's hop right into our picks. For the season, I'm 144-79 -- and Park, who finished two games ahead of me last week, is 146-77.
Park: Losers first.
Titans at Jaguars
Butt's take: BORRRRRRRRIIINNNNNNNNGGGG
Butt's pick: Jaguars 17, Titans 14
Park's take: I am confident in this diluted Jaguars team to open a can of whoop-our-editor's-last-name-tonight on primetime television. #Yawn
Park's pick: Jaguars 23, Titans 19
Eagles at Redskins
Butt's take: RG3 is apparently starting. Is Park going to pick Philadelphia to score 400 again?
Butt's pick: Eagles 38, Redskins 20
Park's take: Football on a Saturday!? Love it. America knows who should win this game, which is why (more significant to the Eagles' future than the result), is how Mark Sanchez reacts and plays under the pressure he once faced five years ago ... as a rookie taking Gang Green to the AFC Conference Championship. #KellyGreen
Park's pick: Eagles 31, Redskins 13
Chargers at 49ers
Butt's take: Jim Harbaugh can't get to Michigan soon enough. With no running game this week, San Francisco is in for another long game.
Butt's pick: Chargers 24, 49ers 14
Park's take: I'm not ready to take the GREs. Frank Gore is averaging 40 yards-per-game in his last three starts. We're both fretting.
Park's pick: 49ers 21, Chargers 20
Patriots at Jets
Butt's take: The Jets have no chance. None.
Butt's pick: Patriots 45, Jets 10
Park's take: Butt, take the Jets, you're their last hope.
Park's pick: Patriots 34, Jets 9
Chiefs at Steelers
Butt's take: The Ravens sure could use a Chiefs win in this game. Will it happen? Kansas City's defense is good enough to force Ben Roethlisberger into some bad throws. And Jamaal Charles is a beast. So you bet the Chiefs can do it.
Butt's pick: Chiefs 24, Steelers 21
Park's take: The weapons on this Pittsburgh team are mainly found in their offensive tote bag. Le'Veon Bell isn't invincible, but he's close. This is an upset for the ages and ... I'll put it this way: even if I DIDN'T write for Beatdown, my guess is...
Park's pick: Chiefs 24, Steelers 20
Packers at Buccaneers
Butt's take: Ha!
Butt's pick: Packers 52, Buccaners 13
Park's take: Not wasting your eyesight with this one.
Park's pick: Packers 35, Buccaneers 24
Falcons at Saints
Butt's take: If Julio Jones can't go, Harry Douglas will once again slide in and produce big numbers against a bad defense. Speaking of bad defenses, one of the only units worse than New Orleans' is Atlanta's. Shootout!
Butt's pick: Falcons 41, Saints 38
Park's take: My favorite writer (Gregg Rosenthal), on NFL.com selected the Falcons. Rarely do I challenge his trenchant instinct, which turns out to be sharper than Justin Forsett's cutbacks.
Park's pick: Falcons 38, Saints 31
Browns at Panthers
Butt's take: Cam Newton appears ready to go and the Browns are sliding into that downward spiral they're used to living in.
Butt's pick: Panthers 27, Browns 17
Park's take: This is a toss-up, but I'll stick out with my pan-out predictions.
Park's pick: Browns 17, Panthers 13
Lions at Bears
Butt's take: The only thing that would make people want to watch this game would be the addition of tigers. Get it? (Booooooooooo!!!!)
Butt's pick: Lions 34, Bears 7
Park's take: Whether it's a haircut or a pay-cut, Jay Cutler needs to get something done to improve his performance. And that's not happening this week given his benching. Good grief.
Park's pick: Lions 31, Bears 9
Vikings at Dolphins
Butt's take: The Vikings have steadily improved throughout the year. Are they a good team yet? No. But Mike Zimmer has them on the right track. Plus, Charles Johnson looks like a pretty good receiver.
Butt's pick: Vikings 26, Dolphins 23
Park's take: I'm going to go ahead and confuse Jason with this pick.
Park's pick: Vikings 21, Dolphins 14
Giants at Rams
Butt's take: If only the Rams didn't begin the year so terrible. The defense has played better of late and Stedman Bailey has been a solid threat. The defense gets the job done for St. Louis, though Odell Beckham Jr. has another big day.
Butt's pick: Rams 24, Giants 21
Park's take: No offense to Odell Beckham Jr., but seriously, no offense loses games. The Rams defense pick up where they left off after shutting out the bottom-feeders in the NFC East two weeks ago.
Park's pick: Rams 30, Giants 13
Colts at Cowboys
Butt's take: I have a feeling DeMarco Murray plays. And if he plays, the Cowboys win.
Butt's pick: Cowboys 28, Colts 24
Park's take: Wow. What I REALLY would like to do is ... fly over to Dallas ... and watch this game with Cowboys fans at a bar (no money though). Only because I think they'll...
Park's pick: Cowboys 45, Colts 38
Bills at Raiders
Butt's take: The Raiders are a joke. Maybe they'll wind up with Jim Harbaugh. Or maybe he goes back to Michigan and Oakland remains a joke.
Butt's pick: Bills 34, Raiders 10
Park's take: As much as I love the Raiders' colors (silver and black), I will go with a defense that leads the league in sacks with 49. Last year they finished second with 57.
Park's pick: Bills 27, Raiders 20
Seahawks at Cardinals
Butt's take: The Seahawks are red hot on defense right now and the Cardinals are down to a third-stringer and a committee of running backs. Sorry Arizona, the clock is getting close to midnight.
Butt's pick: Seahawks 27, Cardinals 14
Park's take: Don't get defensive, Cardinals fans, but the Seahawks are better at it. (League leaders are allowing 272.4 yards per game.)
Park's pick: Seahawks 23, Cardinals 10
Broncos at Bengals
Butt's take: Hey, another game the Ravens could benefit from. And with Peyton Manning at quarterback, it's rather hard to pick against the Broncos.
Butt's pick: Broncos 31, Bengals 21
Park's take: I'll refer to my pan-out article once more. I'm calling an empty stadium by the start of the fourth quarter.
Park's pick: Broncos 34, Bengals 19