Baltimore Beatdown Power Rankings, Week 8: Patriots hopscotch up, Ravens still top 10

The top seven teams – except the Denver Broncos – on last week’s rankings tripped in Week 8.

1 - BRONCOS (6-1) EVEN

Hashtag no explanation necessary.

2 - PATRIOTS (6-2) +7

The Pats are reverting to the strategies of old. TB’s stats are incredible: 5 incompletions and an average of more than 10 yards per pass attempt against a respectable defense in the Chicago Bears.

3 – CARDINALS (6-1) +5

I don’t care whether or not they were on their home court or on Mars. They out-hustled the Eagles.

4 - COWBOYS (6-2) -2

I’m not sure what hits harder: DeMarco Murray’s eighth consecutive 100-yard rushing effort or the fact that the ‘Boys lost to a Colt McCoy-led offense Monday night. Honestly, had Romo not left the game with an injury, Dallas would be sitting at 7-1.

5 - LIONS (6-2) +5

Mark my words. This squad is more than capable of detaloning the Eagles. Although they don’t play each other this season, they might see each other in the playoffs. Yum.

6 – CHARGERS (5-3) -2

Lo and behold, I predicted that the Chargers would be at 5-3 at this point in the season. Good grief, their schedule gets tougher from here on out.

7 - EAGLES (5-2) -1

They had a chance to win the game in Arizona but instead made a wish and blew it out like a lit birthday candle.

8 - RAVENS (5-3) -1

Hope I didn’t jinx Baltimore with this buck-wild statement. Injuries are what is aggravating the team the most #LetDownGames? The Bengals do have our number. It’s 410-HATE-CIN. (410-428-3246; please do not call this.)

9 - PACKERS (5-3) -4

Well, one thing is for certain: don’t underestimate the Saints. The Packers aren’t overrated just yet, but their defense revolves around Aa-rod’s success. #Unhealthy

10 – COLTS (5-3) -7

The game was still competitive until Luck’s gaffe in the end zone. Indy seemed deflated after the Steelers defense were rewarded with a safety. Don’t let the scoreboard fool you.

11 – SEAHAWKS (4-3) EVEN

What’s with that? Struggling against the Panthers? Are the Seahawks a legitimate team or what?

12 – TEXANS (4-4) EVEN

Still a force to be reckoned with, the Texans are not ranked too high on this list.

13 – 49ERS (4-3) +1

Bye.

14 – STEELERS (5-3) +3

Dropped a 51-bomber on an unsuspecting Indy defense. If the Steelers catch fire late that’ll pose serious problems for opposing teams.

15 – BROWNS (4-3) EVEN

After the awkward skirmish in Jacksonville, the Browns quietly handled business against the visiting Raiders.

16 – DOLPHINS (4-3) -3

They’ll need to show me more than that scraggily strength for them to stay in the Top 15.

17 - BENGALS (4-2-1) -1

Quite a bemusing victory over the Ravens on Sunday. What is the reason they stepped down two rungs? Baltimore’s cornerbacks are terrible and I don’t see them winning games against more experienced secondaries.

18 – CHIEFS (4-3) EVEN

One more win – please – to prove us your worth.

19 – SAINTS (3-4) +2

Their offense is stabilizing a lot better this week. Let’s get two more wins to get above .500 and then we’ll talk.

21 - PANTHERS (3-4-1) -2

With seven weeks of footage you needed to study in order to ace the test (beat Seattle), Carolina didn’t execute.

22 – GIANTS (3-4) EVEN

Bye.

23 – BEARS (3-5) -3

The Hot Seat, starring Head Coach Marc Trestman.

Bye.

24 – BILLS (5-3) EVEN

When C.J. Spiller and Fred Jackson return. … #hotzamn

24 – RAMS (2-5) +1

The Warm Seat, starring Jeff Fisher.

25 – FALCONS (2-6) -2

The Warmer Seat, starring Mike Smith.

26 – REDSKINS (2-5) EVEN

Last night was a blur.

27 – TITANS (2-5) EVEN

C’mon son.

28 – VIKINGS (3-5) EVEN

The Vikings enter Week 9 after a huge confidence boosting win over the … drumroll … Bucs.

29 – JETS (1-7) EVEN

The Burning Seat, featuring Rex Ryan.

30 – BUCCANEERS (1-6) EVEN

Sigh.

31 – JAGUARS (1-7) EVEN

If the Jags punch a postseason ticket I will bungee jump off the Empire State Building.

32 – RAIDERS (0-7) EVEN

I’m sure Oakland will win a game this season. … but when? #DyingToKnow