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Why I Prefer to Leave my Television on Mute During Games

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There are many reasons why NFL commentators infuriate fans, but perhaps the most frustrating characteristic of these self proclaimed "professionals" is their pretentious deeper understanding of the game. You hear it all the time; lazy football idioms being thrown around with no deeper analysis than what's on the surface. To name a few:

"(Insert player's name here) is a big physical player"

"(Insert player's name here) is one of the most elite players at (insert player's position here) in recent memory."

And my personal favorite: "(Insert player's name here) is a spark plug."A spark plug? really? Are we talking about NFL players or car parts here?

The amount of stale colorless commentary that these people spew is sickening. You will hear the announcers say something about a player one second, and the next second he will prove to be just the opposite thing.

And what's even worse then this bland cookie-cutter analysis, is the lack of support behind them. Drew Brees is elite? Okay, tell me why. Is it because of his "swagger" or his "ability to perform in the clutch"? Or maybe it is because of another overused meaningless expression?

Perhaps I'm just splitting hairs here, but would it kill these overpaid "professionals" to provide a little bit of a statistical foundation following a remark about a player? All I want is a little bit of levity from your typical "Golly Al, Calvin Johnson is a game-changer."

I am not the only one who feels this way either. Brian Burke of Advanced NFL Stats has similar sentiments. In fact, this article made me realize just exactly how bad the commentary we've been receiving for most of our lives have been: