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Hurricane Raven to Hit Houston Monday Night

As if Hurricane Ike wasn't enough, Hurricane Raven will follow it up on Monday night as it will come ashore with its full brunt of power directly over Reliant Stadium, beginning,oh, say around 8:30pm. The leading edge of the storm will last for two quarters, er, I mean 30 minutes, followed by the eye of the storm (halftime) and then the back edge that should last the same amount of time as the first part, but the majority of the damage will have been done long before it's over.

The makeup of the Hurricane will be led by a bunch of former Hurricanes, including Ray Lewis, Ed Reed and Willis McGahee. There's also the rookie linebacker from Miami, Tavares Gooden, who is rumored to be the heir apparent to Lewis at the middle linebacker position, although don't expect him to see much time, except on Special Teams. Speaking of Special Teams, the status of the All Pro gunner Brendon Ayanbadejo is still undecided, although the Ravens will have their two tough rookie safeties, who both have a great history of enjoying contact. Third round pick Tom Zbikowski (Notre Dame) was a nationally ranked Golden Gloves boxer with a 60-13 amateur record, including a 49 second knockout in his professional debut at New York's Madison Square Garden in 2006. Sixth round pick Haruki Nakamura (Cincinnati) has a black belt in judo, as his parents came to the US to teach judo and his brother was in the US Olympic Trials and his sister was a national judo champion. Together, they give the Ravens depth at safety, as well as toughness on Special Teams. Ravens head coach John Harbaugh, a former Special Teams Coordinator with the Philadelphia Eagles, is certainly pleased with their addition to the squad.

Luckily for the city of Houston, Hurricane Raven will not leave a huge path of damage in its wake. It may linger in the players on the Texans that plan to unwisely not evacuate the playing field when it approaches, but they should recover over time. Hurricane Raven will flood the Texans backfield with the storm surge lead by Trevor Pryce, Terrell Suggs and Bart Scott. It will flood forward on offense and the running game hits like a huge wave against what last week in Pittsburgh was a defenseless Texans wall. Most likely, it will be over long before the last Hurricane leaves the Reliant Stadium area. Hurricane Raven will arrive on Monday night with a snarl on its face and leave with a smile.

Grab the family and hide in the basement. It's almost game time!