Hopefully I'll make you a little money if you were to venture out to the folks in the desert. Otherwise here's what you need to know
In chronological order:
Cincy at Houston(-4.5) 4:30pm Saturday
Here, you're absolutely cheering for the Bengals. And here's why, #1 If I can help it I'd rather not see Peyton Manning in the playoffs and a win by Cincinnati sends them to Denver automatically. #2 I'm not at all confident that we can go into Houston if we had to and get a win.
Pick: I like Cincinnati to win straight up, the money line is +170 I'd take it based on how injured and terrible Houston's defense has been outside of JJ Watt.
Minnesota at Green bay(-7.5) 8:00pm Saturday
The choice is between a vaunted running team with no quarterback and a vaunted passing team with no running back. I think given our injuries to the secondary we want to see the running team but ugh, I wouldn't want to see either of these teams when we get to the Superbowl.
Pick: The -7.5 screams take the underdog, I am confident the Packers win, but 7.5 is one of those magic numbers you love to have in your back pocket. So walk up to the booth, hold your nose and take the Vikings to cover.
Indianapolis at Baltimore(-6.5) 1:00pm Sunday
I shouldn't have to tell you to cheer for the Ravens. But here's my theory. We all admit Ray Lewis knows more about football than the rest of us. He once announced that if the Ravens win the Superbowl he'd retire, and recently he said he was retiring after this season. Therefore the only conclusion we can draw is that the Baltimore Ravens are going to win the Superbowl. Now let me take my fan glasses off. Using DVOA numbers (from football outsiders) the Colts are one of the 5 worst teams to make the playoffs in the last 20 years. The thing to know is the other terrible teams won. Most notably Denver won last year and Seattle the year before.
Pick: As long as the line is Ravens -6.5 I'm taking the Ravens to cover, but if that line jumps up to 7 or 7.5, I would take the Colts to get a garbage time touchdown. But the Ravens money line is a safe play.
Note: If the Colts win, history tells us whoever their opponent is next round will absolutely demolish them, so if you lose money picking the Ravens you can get it back taking the Colts next opponent to cover.
Seattle at Washington(+3) 4:00pm Sunday
The only home dog in the playoffs, in this game you're cheering for the Redskins because I think they're the team that most favorably matches up with the Ravens...because they're terrible defensively. Interestingly enough both Seattle and Redskins run somewhat similar offenses the difference here is that Seattle's defense features somewhat talented players and the Redskins have DeAngelo Hall...LOL! So cheer for the Redskins because you're hoping for an I-95 Superbowl, but really it's a losing cause because:
Pick: Seattle to win, and cover the 3 points. Seattle will be motivated to play well and
avenge their loss to Green bay show the world they weren't a fluke when they beat the Packers. (Hat tip to the refs for costing Green Bay a bye week)
There you have it. If I make you money you're welcome, if I cost you money, sorry, hopefully you weren't betting this months rent.