Just a Game?
by WestminsterRaven on Jan 23, 2012 1:30 AM EST
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PrintIt’s cold. A freezing drizzle gently plucks my bare arms. Hands soaked and tingling. The Ravens had just lost moments earlier. What once was and could have been, was now over. Rewind. Cundiff lines up….WIDE LEFT. I save myself from the pain and march towards the garage. Open the door, can’t slam it, it’s not my house. I rip two chunks of ice off of my father’s car and slam them to the pavement. I need a release from the madness. Looking up, standing still, the rain falls and I wipe the moisture and cold from my hands. Reach into my pocket and pull out a cigarette and heave a sigh. It’s over. My name is Josef Klopp and I’m a Baltimore Ravens fan.
After I finish smoking I find myself in my father’s empty dining room. I don’t remember walking from the garage to where I am now. It’s dark and all there is in this room are two silk plants, a treadmill and a futon. I sit down. In the background I can hear the T.V. The Patriots are receiving their trophy and the right to move on to the Super Bowl. I shout for someone to turn off the T.V. No response. One of my father’s cats, Ebby, approaches me. She looks into my eyes and hops onto my lap. I love how animals can sense a human’s sadness and comfort a person. She’s distracting me just enough to tune everything out and I’m grateful.
Truth be told, my life is a wreck. Lately, I’ve been trying to figure out my path in life. I have a major anxiety disorder and just getting up each day is a challenge. A few years ago my mother and two sisters moved to Houston in order to get away from a toxic family environment and start anew. At first, I started watching the Ravens as a way to get to know my father who struggled with addiction throughout my childhood. It was a way to get to know the “real” him. What started as a casual hobby has blossomed into a full on obsession. The first thing I do when I wake up every morning is read every article of Ravens news. My girlfriend will attest to this.
I’m not telling you any of this to receive sympathy or to try and tell you that I have it worse than you do. I’m telling you this because the Ravens have become my rock, that one thing I can count on every week in a life full of uncertainty. That’s the beautiful thing about sports; they have the ability to distract someone from the pitfalls of life. The Ravens give me this solace. I’m also telling you this because the Ravens have guided me to a better and more fulfilling path. I aspire to write. I want to be a sports journalist. I feel that being honest is an important quality in a writer, therefore I am being honest about my life and how I feel about this team.
Although we came up short today, we should not hold our heads down, Raven Nation. Our team has accomplished a great deal this season. We were one or two plays from a Super Bowl berth. There are many fan bases that would gladly be in this position today, win or lose. We, as fans, have a ton to look forward to with this franchise. We have a wonderful QB that has helped guide us to the post season four years in a row. Our Defense will always remain among the elite. Defense is just as much a Baltimore staple as crab cakes. I’m confident that our young players will be motivated to come back and help contribute to another post season run and I’m even more confident that our Front Office will continue to be amongst the class of the NFL.
There’s something special about this team that makes me feel closer to it. Maybe it’s that we are in a small market? Maybe it’s that the coaches consciously make an effort to make fans feel like a part of the organization? I don’t know. It’s something that you can’t quite put your finger on but instead you can feel it.
Although our journey ended today, Raven Nation WILL rise again! My name is Josef Klopp, and I’m not a fan, I AM a Baltimore Raven!
Just a game? I don’t think so….
The opinions posted here are those of the administrator of this blog and his loyal readers. They are in no way official comments from the team, and should not be misconstued as such, even though he thinks he could do just as well or even a better job!
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Man..
May be hard to believe, but if you can, let me say, I understand. Strangely,what you said, is probably the reason I’m not a Lions fan. I tried what you said, then said “f” anything that had to do with him. Hated my step dad too, but he was from western PA,and so was his best friend, that’s where my Steeler love came from. (just kidding, I’m obviously a bandwagon yinzer like Evan says) We have at least a few things in common man, but I don’t wish to get in to here. Just saying, your story makes sense. Sorry about today, I know how it feels.
Can I get some hot sauce for my doughnut?
I feel ya
I wasted a lot of time jumping from job to job, girlfriend to girlfriend. I lived at home until I was 25. I had a job that paid little, stressed me out and created a volatile mix of high blood pressure and severe anxiety. I amassed 30,000.00 dollars on credit cards from school and gambling and got nowhere. Football was just a game. I was a fan but was too wrapped up in my own misery to love the game and take something positive from it. I was incapable of seeing anything bright in my future. I blame the anxiety for creating thoughts of wanting to be dead; thoughts that seemed like a comforting alternative. Fast forward four years and today I am married, my daughter is turning three, my credit debt is 900 dollars, I have a home and a mortgage, and I recently found a job that pays me to do what I love doing most – being an artist. My blood pressure stabilized and my anxiety evaporated. In these last three years my team has had a 9-7 non playoff season, a 12-4 season ending in a loss in the SB and another 12-4 season that ended with a thud in Denver in the wildcard round. Im a bigger fan of the game, a huge fan of my team and when they lose I feel the loss too. I just know what its like to really be in trouble, to feel let down and feel hopeless. My beloved team may fall short but I know there is light to be found even when it seems too dark to see whats ahead.
I'd sooner get Flacco'd out here in the middle of nowhere than lose face in front of my friends and family.
by steeltech on Jan 23, 2012 5:14 AM EST via mobile reply actions
Seriously Josef?
I was almost moved to tears. I feel you, bro. Seriously, I do feel you. We all have our family BS, some worse than others, me included, but not interested in going into details.
The obsession part is real. We are not crazy to feel like this, but so many others just don’t understand what an “island” this passion provides us as an “escape” from reality to our own version of this “reality.” Don’t try to tell us this is not real, we know it is.
Loved your writing and would love to have you pst to the Front Page of Baltimore Beatdown. Will be in touch.
Peace.
aka 'Rexx'
Thanks Bruce. I appreciate it…a lot. I enjoy being a part of this blog and thank you for putting this on the front today. Man, this is a hard loss to take. It still doesn’t feel real. Feels like a bad dream that you can’t shake.
But, I have all the faith in the world that we’ll be right back in the hunt for a SB next season.
"Don't throw it, don't throw it, don't throw it. I know y'all going to throw it, they going to throw it anyway. I wouldn't throw it. Don't do it." - Ed Reed
You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say Six, I say Sweep.
by WestminsterRaven on Jan 23, 2012 10:39 AM EST up reply actions
I honestly can’t believe this guy hasn’t been banned yet.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
State your case, back it up with facts and reasonable opinions ...
Bruce Raffel
Bruce lost Mjolnir.
You come at the king, you best not miss.
by organizedchaos52 on Feb 7, 2012 4:18 PM EST up reply actions
Flagged.
You come at the king, you best not miss.
by organizedchaos52 on Feb 7, 2012 4:18 PM EST up reply actions
After the game last night
I was in tears. Not sobbing, but yeah I had some tears rolling down my cheek. My oldest boy, who’s 23 months saw it and walked over and hugged me. He of course had no idea the Ravens lost, but he knew dad was upset. That little hug made it better. Hopefully when he’s older he can share in happier games when the Ravens make another Super Bowl run.
Baltimore Blast - 6-time MISL/NISL Champions
Let's go Blues!
It really was that type of game.
The situation? Down by 3, on the road, in the AFC Championship game, on our 20 yard line with less than two minutes to go. What happens? Flacco plays his heart out and throws the game winning TD only to have it dropped and our Pro Bowl kicker misses a 32 yarder to end the game.
I feel you man. Take solace that the Ravens are in this for the long haul and as long as we have Flacco and Rice, we’ll be here.
Thishurt much much more
than even that Indy home playoff loss that left me ill for the entire next week. I know we’ll move on, but the pain is here now and it is definitely real, as much as others might not be able to comprehend how much this team means to us.
aka 'Rexx'
Great piece of writing right there.
Thanks for sharing that personal story. I identify with you more as a human-being than a ‘Ravens’ fan.’ I have a ton of respect for people who can be honest with themselves and others as they go through stuff in their lives. What do we have in life but our own consciousnesses, and what is the meaning of life if we only transverse through our lives just trying to survive day-to-day like an animal? There are so many people that just go through their lives and never examine themselves—never examine life—or live with any principle or meaning. We are capable of—and life is—so much more that just day-to-day living. I’m sorry that your life is hard right now, but continue to be honest with yourself and others and you will get through it.
I know this isn’t the place for philosophical talks, but I just felt like I needed to say that. Good luck, man!
by BAL_Hawk on Jan 23, 2012 11:13 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I’ve missed your stuff on Bleacher Report, BAL_Hawk. The new guy doing a Five Things We Learned column is a pale imitation.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
State your case, back it up with facts and reasonable opinions ...
Bruce Raffel
Thanks.
I had to take a break because of real life stuff. My wife just had our second child in November, and as you can imagine, that complicates things quite a bit. It was just too hectic trying to keep up with my day job and help with two kids while trying to publish original material and meet deadlines. They left the door open, so I may go back once things settle down.
They left the door open, so I may go back once things settle down.
I look forward to it. Congratulations.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
State your case, back it up with facts and reasonable opinions ...
Bruce Raffel
Thanks, but I’m not the father.
I promise.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
State your case, back it up with facts and reasonable opinions ...
Bruce Raffel
by Ampallang on Jan 23, 2012 6:01 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
arrrrghghhhh
thats brutal, lol
"And, don’t get me started on Joe Flacco," Simms continued. "Did the experts watch the game? Joe didn’t miss a throw, not one. I watched every play. Every time he had the opportunity, he hit the guy. And, he made some moves so he could complete other throws. Are these people watching? What was Joe supposed to do with Texans in his face? Throw it up and hope? Sometimes a sack is a good thing. The object is to win the game. You did."
Congrats!
Two is easier than one as they have each other to help occupy each other. With one, they expect all attention all the time…
"A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring."
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."
"God's whiskers! Your face is as hideous as the demon's in my storybook!"
"I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today."
"It's big for a reason."
For Pittsburgh fans, that's Pope, Twain, Rostand, Rogers and Megamind
congrats bro
saw the pics on facebook, great lookin kid dude.
"And, don’t get me started on Joe Flacco," Simms continued. "Did the experts watch the game? Joe didn’t miss a throw, not one. I watched every play. Every time he had the opportunity, he hit the guy. And, he made some moves so he could complete other throws. Are these people watching? What was Joe supposed to do with Texans in his face? Throw it up and hope? Sometimes a sack is a good thing. The object is to win the game. You did."
Flagged.
You come at the king, you best not miss.
by organizedchaos52 on Feb 7, 2012 4:18 PM EST up reply actions
Some people just do not realize the love others have for football.
Last night was the first time I had that “feeling” since the passing of my grandfather 8 years ago.
A huge part of my life was ripped away from me, a team which has given me so much to be proud of and I don’t even contribute anything to their success or failures, but still feel accomplished when I see those guys put everything on the line just to entertain us.
I had to get away from the blogs for this last month because of how nerve racking this roller coaster ride was going to be. Some may think it is borderline psychotic, but I lost sleep over this team (even before yesterday) thinking about what we had going for us, what could be said about 53 men who are all honestly my heroes.
I feel ya man, this was tough for me as well, and it will be for a long time. Thanks to Ray, Ed, Suggs, Rice and especially my Quarterback Joe Flacco for making me smile every morning I get up because I just imagine the great things you guys will be doing that day to improve your abilities and make us proud to be a part of Baltimore.
There is no place like this town, and as much as it can bring you down at times, I take great pride in saying that I am from Baltimore.
Thank you Ravens, thank you BB and the group of fans here and everywhere else that share this unhealthy obsession with me for our boys.
Flacco has to trust his receivers to make catches, but shouldn’t throw towards coverage. He needs to attack deep more often, but shouldn’t hold onto the ball so long. He needs to show more awareness in the pocket and move to extend plays, but nothing good comes of him leaving the pocket. He should run with the ball if nobody’s open, but he definitely can’t run with the ball.
Flacco should have the awareness of Roethlisberger, the elusiveness of Vick, the control of the offense of Manning, the leadership of Brady, the accuracy of Brees, and the arm strength of … Flacco? - Ampallang
by Mr MaLoR on Jan 23, 2012 11:25 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
I can relate
Josef,
I feel your pain. I grew up in Baltimore, but live in Western Pa. where I go to school. Hearing Steelers fans daily whip on me for being a fan of my beloved Ravens can really get to me. I wanted that game. I wanted that win. I wanted that Super Bowl trip. I have honestly never been so crushed by a defeat. It felt like something had been ripped from my body. After the game, I just sat in silence, hearing the cheers from the Steelers fans around me mocking the Ravens and Joe Flacco. I honestly felt as if someone who I loved had just died. It is amazing how euphoric sports can be to people. Sports has a way of allowing people to escape from their problems and live through their team. This one is a tough one, but I wont forget all the memories made this year.
Well done piece
Thank you for sharing.
When the Mayflower trucks left Bmore in the middle of the night almost thirty years ago, my heart was broken because as season ticket holders since 1957, my family lived and died by the Colts. My grandfather was buried with his Colts pennant from the 1958 chamipoinship team.
As the city floundered without our own NFL franchise for 13 years, my loyalties drifted to the skins, Eagles, and other regional franchises, looking to find that same love.
Even after the Ravens came into town, my heart just could not embrace these former “Browns” that were now our squad – but in 2000 all of that changed.
The team took on our city’s mentality – tough, strong, capable, and with that chip on their shoulder that we as this region’s citizens tend to have as we as city are kind of an afterthought when lumped in with the other I-95 corridor cities of Philly, DC, New York, and of course Boston.
Since that first SB, I have been solidly behind this team and became emotionally attached, much like I was in my childhood with Johnny U, Matte, Gino, and Mike Curtis.
The only problem with that attachment is the heartbreak of disappointment that you feel as a fully engaged fan – and yes this one hurts just as much as the 69 SB loss to the Jets, the Ghost to the Post, and God knows how many other gut wrenching losses.
The beautiful thing about the attachment is that it provides a wonderful crutch on which to lean when things in your life aren’t going so well, and the mental diversity it provides.
Unfortunately – you got to take the good with the bad.
Life moves on from yesterday as Ray so eloquently put it.
We’ll move on – we’ll start talking draft, and salary caps, and franchise tags, and all of the rest of the off-season chatter – and we have each other here to help each other get through what will be a difficult off- season…but we hope for a better ending next year.
Thanks for the Ravens for getting us this far, and for providing us with a really good season of football.
On to the rest of life- and whatever twists and turns that brings us.
Westminster - well said.
I sense the pride & love you have for your football team – the Ravens certainly being worthy of your emotional investment.
by profootballfan on Jan 23, 2012 12:13 PM EST reply actions
Why are you still here?
You come at the king, you best not miss.
by organizedchaos52 on Jan 23, 2012 4:23 PM EST up reply actions
thank you for sharing
great post. I can identify on several levels.
good luck with the writing. I hope you continue to post more here.
by GayleG on Jan 23, 2012 9:32 PM EST via Android app reply actions
Thanks to everyone who commented and shared their stories with me and everyone here. This is a crazy game we all love, but it’s the ups and downs that make it worth it in the end and gives us that attachment we all feel.
So, thanks for everyone’s comments and kind words and same goes to those of you who commented that are fans of other teams and I wish you guys the best of luck in the future.
"Don't throw it, don't throw it, don't throw it. I know y'all going to throw it, they going to throw it anyway. I wouldn't throw it. Don't do it." - Ed Reed
You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say Six, I say Sweep.
by WestminsterRaven on Jan 24, 2012 3:37 AM EST reply actions
Congratulations on becoming a Beatdown author, WestminsterRaven.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
State your case, back it up with facts and reasonable opinions ...
Bruce Raffel
It ain’t all its cracked up to be!
Flacco has to trust his receivers to make catches, but shouldn’t throw towards coverage. He needs to attack deep more often, but shouldn’t hold onto the ball so long. He needs to show more awareness in the pocket and move to extend plays, but nothing good comes of him leaving the pocket. He should run with the ball if nobody’s open, but he definitely can’t run with the ball.
Flacco should have the awareness of Roethlisberger, the elusiveness of Vick, the control of the offense of Manning, the leadership of Brady, the accuracy of Brees, and the arm strength of … Flacco? - Ampallang
Thanks Amp!
“It ain’t all its cracked up to be!” What’s that supposed to mean?
"Don't throw it, don't throw it, don't throw it. I know y'all going to throw it, they going to throw it anyway. I wouldn't throw it. Don't do it." - Ed Reed
You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say Six, I say Sweep.
by WestminsterRaven on Jan 24, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions
It means don’t fall for Bruce’s invitation for drinks at Applebees like raven did. He was once an author, till Bruce couldn’t get him into The Van….
Flacco has to trust his receivers to make catches, but shouldn’t throw towards coverage. He needs to attack deep more often, but shouldn’t hold onto the ball so long. He needs to show more awareness in the pocket and move to extend plays, but nothing good comes of him leaving the pocket. He should run with the ball if nobody’s open, but he definitely can’t run with the ball.
Flacco should have the awareness of Roethlisberger, the elusiveness of Vick, the control of the offense of Manning, the leadership of Brady, the accuracy of Brees, and the arm strength of … Flacco? - Ampallang
Nice….I’ll keep that in mind. Haha.
"Don't throw it, don't throw it, don't throw it. I know y'all going to throw it, they going to throw it anyway. I wouldn't throw it. Don't do it." - Ed Reed
You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say Six, I say Sweep.
by WestminsterRaven on Jan 24, 2012 2:49 PM EST up reply actions
malor- it was cool until bruce busted out the chinese hand cuffs and i had to pull the vans sliding door open and roll onto york road. a local cab driver stopped to help as bruce sped away. pretty messed up. i now blog from my trailer in woods. i don’t write lengthy stories because i log on and off multiple times in case he’s tracking me. blogs aren’t what you think they are westminsterraven. stay on the path, keep clear of the moors.
LOL
gold
"And, don’t get me started on Joe Flacco," Simms continued. "Did the experts watch the game? Joe didn’t miss a throw, not one. I watched every play. Every time he had the opportunity, he hit the guy. And, he made some moves so he could complete other throws. Are these people watching? What was Joe supposed to do with Texans in his face? Throw it up and hope? Sometimes a sack is a good thing. The object is to win the game. You did."
Thanks Jazz, appreciate it!
"Don't throw it, don't throw it, don't throw it. I know y'all going to throw it, they going to throw it anyway. I wouldn't throw it. Don't do it." - Ed Reed
You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say Six, I say Sweep.
by WestminsterRaven on Jan 24, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions
what works for me after a bad loss like this is setting rat traps. every so often, when im sunk in my recliner crying in my beer, a trap SNAPS. i suddenly realize something else in the trailer is having a worse day…and they probably never got to see a single nfl game.
by raven on Jan 25, 2012 11:50 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
I want to live in the woods someday where I’ll be able to unload a glock 19 at every house pest without having to worry about stray rounds killing any neighbors.
I feel like 10 or 12 9mm rounds for 1 rat is pretty reasonable.
"And, don’t get me started on Joe Flacco," Simms continued. "Did the experts watch the game? Joe didn’t miss a throw, not one. I watched every play. Every time he had the opportunity, he hit the guy. And, he made some moves so he could complete other throws. Are these people watching? What was Joe supposed to do with Texans in his face? Throw it up and hope? Sometimes a sack is a good thing. The object is to win the game. You did."
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