No, Aaron Rodgers is not going to kill himself. He's probably going to win the Super Bowl. Again.

But in this PTI/Around the Horn spoof by "The Onion News Network," that's the story of the day. "Get Out of My Face" (or GOOMF for short) anchors Kenny and Doc go back and forth on the shocking news.

Said Rodgers, "Winning has lost its thrill and losing is obviously worse. Now, my death is all that can give our season meaning."

This is absolutely hilarious, courtesy of the comedic geniuses at "The Onion." Not safe for work.

I'm not sure if it's okay to embed the video on here, so I'll just link it. If Bruce says it's okay, I'll embed it instead. But watch it, regardless. This is gold.

Aaron Rodgers Vows to Make Season Interesting By Killing Self