The Steeler Hate Manifesto - get behind this, print it, distribute it
by karlmarxliveson on Feb 4, 2009 3:56 PM EST
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PrintFebruary 3, 2009
The Steeler Hate Manifesto
(The official doctrine of anyone who is fed up with the Pittsburgh Steelers organization)
A spectre is haunting Western Pennsylvania and other regions of the U.S. – the spectre of mindless Steeler fans infecting the general population. We need to organize a revolt, or a counter revolution of intelligent human beings that have something to live for other than the Pittsburgh Steelers. If you are out there, please join us in fighting off the most moronic fan base in all of sports. The Steelers are worshipped on a level that puts even modern day theology and faith in God on the backburner. God, to these fans, is currently Mike Tomlin or Ben Roethlisberger. It fluctuates on a daily basis, but we must remember, that their prayers went directly to Bill Cowher for so many years. Therefore, when the messiah known formerly as Coach Cowher left, a transitional period took place in which the faith of the fan base was put to the test. Roethlisberger’s worship depends upon how cheap his followers can find a knock off replica jersey at the local Walmart, or depending on how many interceptions he throws during a game. They hate him or love him, worship or loathe him, directly depending on his Sunday performances.
These fans would skip the funeral of their own mother, if it took place on a Sunday afternoon between the months of September and January. Mayor by default Luke Ravenstahl helped orchestrate a two hour delay in the Pittsburgh public school system to focus on celebrating the latest super bowl victory, a sign of the apocalypse if there ever was one. We need to put this into perspective – the education of today’s youths was compromised over the outcome of a silly football game. I mean, it requires altering the work week in order to celebrate these recession proof millionaire athletes. This move comes on the heels of the worst economy in half a century and an unemployment rate pushing 10 percent. It’s a good thing the mayor has his priorities straight. The one positive element of the Super bowl win is that there won’t be several weeks of low productivity and attendance at work, shouldn’t be higher domestic abuse rates, and mass treatment of clinical depression in Western Pa as a result. There may be needed treatment for depression, because these people don’t have anything to look forward too until next August.
The history hitherto of Western Pennsylvania is apparently the history of the Pittsburgh Steelers record. The masses have adorned yellow towels, in which they carry on them as if their own child. Nobody can touch or desecrate these towels, in which one fan compared to being a “baby Jesus.” This towel represents the false idolatry of Myron Cope, a border line retarded former announcer who will forever remain in legendary status within Steeler nation. He used words that were not even part of the English language when he announced games. Trying to comprehend what Myron Cope was actually saying during a game was like trying to decipher the words of an incoherent drunk, speaking in an obsolete vernacular. In other words – he spoke on an even keel to the majority of his 3rd grade educated listeners. When Cope died, the masses of the Church of Steeler Nation stood speechless. The towels came out in full force, in order to soak up their tears. These tears were for their hero, an invalid who took an ugly yellow kitchen towel and turned it into a symbol of hope for all of Western Pennsylvania.
The opinions posted here are those of the administrator of this blog and his loyal readers. They are in no way official comments from the team, and should not be misconstued as such, even though he thinks he could do just as well or even a better job!
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This is great.
+1
I'm back to doing what I love most and it feels great.
~ Claude Lemieux
by JonHaven on Feb 4, 2009 5:42 PM EST reply actions
So did all of PA get delayed for school?
If so, those eagles fans must have been happy i guess
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
I guess this works for all the AFC North, eh?
I saw the post over at Cleveland’s blog, but not at Cincy’s. You should post it at the Steelers’ site. I’d love to see the comments posted before it got erased and you banned!
As far as the Browns’ site, figures the fans there still find a way to make personal attacks on the writer and links him to our site!
Rexx
This guys would not just get banned from their blog
He would have a bounty out for them. You dont mess with the children of Shittsburgh!
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
headin' down the highway
you can always tell a steelers family on the highway because they’re always cruising in a beat up 1989 4 door buick with no hub caps and heavy salt / dirt stains from front to back. the mother is barely visible in the passenger seat because her greasy collared 1970’s puffy winter coat overwhelms her and only her glasses and slick hair are visible in the window. the kids are just dark shadows in the back seat and reminds one of the scene in Jacobs Ladder as they peer out the back widows with their runny noses resting on the sill. dad, in his old mesh Winston cap, proudly drives along with a cigarette hanging off his bottom lip dropping ashes on his early ’80’s marble swirled steelers shirt and tiger stripped weight lifting pants.
I laughed out loud at this one
You my friends, are too funny
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
***sniff sniff***
What’s that I smell? Bitterness! LOL. I get it though. Attack the fan base since you can’t really attack the team. I suppose I can’t blame you. What were the chances of this being posted had you gone to the super bowl?
Have fun with your “manifesto” !
Hey man
I dont think any of the regular bloggers at this site posted this “Manifesto” The guy who did it went to other blogs on SB posting this. And of course it would not be posted if you guys did not win.
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
My bad....
didn’t realize there was some loony-tune Steeler hater out there posting this everywhere! I’ll have to track this tool down! : )
Then again......
logic says this guy is a member of the Ravens, Browns, or Arizona blog under an alias name, seeing how he just joined yesterday.
Yea it makes sense
He would post this on the 3 sites that currently hate the Steelers the most.
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
"It's lonely at the top Baby" is all I can say!
Its easy to see why there is so much hate of the “Best Franchise in Professional Sports.” We understand the target thats on our back sitting all alone atop the NFL hierachy. Yessir! The truth of the matter is that Pittsburgh is 30 years ahead of Baltimore, 40 years ahead of Arizona, and at least 75 years ahead of Cleveland in terms of football savy, sophistications, class and championships winning football. Baltimore and the rest of the NFL should do themselves a favor and take a good look at the way we roll and learn a thing or two.
I love it that Steeler Nation goes so hard that someone has to take the time to write a manifesto calling for a revolt to stop us. Im sincerely honored! You all can hate us, but it wont change anything. We will continue to do what we always do, and that’s win our division convincingly, keeping the likes of Baltimore and especially Cleveland, and Cincinatti on the outside looking in, while fielding a championship level team annually. I will continue to root for the best team in pro sports zealously and if that makes me apart of a cult or a zealot or whatever you want to call it, then Im guilty as charged! GO Steelers or go home-as in bye bye, you’re outta the playoffs, at home watching us hoist that Lombardi trophy!
The Steeler Nation seems to be confused about the difference between the actual Pittsburgh Steelers and the massive throng of bandwagon hillbillies waving piss-colored towels. I just re-read the original post and couldn’t really find much Steeler bashing; in fact, it’s notable for its lack of bashing on the recent Super Bowl victor. I’m surprised he didn’t try to drag the Steelers franchise through the dirt a little (probably making him a better person than I am).
What he’s actually doing is making fun of the “Trashiest Fan Base in Professional Sports.” See, the thing is that I saw 53 players and a handful of coaches down on the field. Those (mostly) classy and talented men performed a herculean task by forcing their minds and bodies through a months-long trial of pain and endurance. As much as it irks me to praise such a bitter rival, congratulations are in order. Not just any team comes out on top for the record sixth time in the history of the Super Bowl.
53 players and some coaches were down on the field in Tampa. Not that fat guy wearing the perma-stained Steelers sweater from 12 years ago. Not that dude missing teeth and wearing a shoddy replica of a Bettis jersey. And definitely not the guy that can spend time decorating his car in cheap Steelers gear, but can’t learn how to fucking drive his rusted out Astrovan full of seven children. That’s the difference. I have yet to meet a Steelers fan that didn’t talk like he (or she, somewhere under that copious body hair) was out there throwing passes and tackling QB’s. There’s a time and a place to use the first person plural reference, but it most definitely isn’t when you’re talking about the Steelers. They win in spite of being hosted by what may, in fact, be the shittiest city in America (that’s right Buffalo, you’re off the hook for now). People are leaving that shit-hole in droves and spreading their inferior seed among the rest of us decent folk. Considering a wretched city in such decline, it actually makes the Steelers look kind of like underdogs.
Here’s a question for you. What’s bigger than a bandwagon? Answer: “The Steeler Nation.” If I had a dollar for every Steelers fan who had never actually seen the city of Pittsburgh, I’d be able to pay the massive dental bills for all the poor, buck-toothed, brainwashed children of the Steelers Nation who’d rather spend the money on a black-and-yellow recliner.
In closing, I’ll leave you with this (mercifully) grammatically abbreviated blurb: Steelers good, Steelers Bandwagon embarrassing to the entire human species (that means bad).
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
I love all the hatred and jealousy! Bring it on!
I was at the Superbowl (not in the game though) and I saw hundreds of totally normal Steelers fans with all their teeth and even a few cool Cardinals fans.
You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, just like when you said the ravens wouldn’t have any personal fouls in the AFC title game that the Steelers won.
"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."
Yeah, I was wrong about the one personal foul we had called against us. A special teams nobody probably playing with some kind of mild head injury (he had to be walked off the field early in the game) threw some other guy out of bounds. My powers of foresight have totally failed me again. The point of the post I was replying to was that our heads wouldn’t be in the game because we’d be too focused on bounties and other inane crap. I’m willing to call this one a draw.
And I’m glad to hear that literally hundreds of the thousands and thousands of Steelers fans at the Super Bowl had all their teeth. I hope it’s a rising trend among the Steelers Bandwagon, if for nothing other than the sake of all humanity.
Also, feel free to keep posting pictures of the Steelers celebrating. As I’ve said, it’s well-earned and I give them my grudging respect. However, be aware that the original post and my responses have little-to-nothing to do with them (I won’t speak for any of the other crap being spewed on this page). The intention of this thread was first and foremost to be a critique of the embarrassing fan-base “supporting” the current champs.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
and the intention of my post was to tell you to go pound sand
you don’t know anything about the Steelers fan base.
"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."
I’m speaking from personal experience here. Richmond is FULL of exactly the type of Steelers fans I’ve been talking about. So, when you say I don’t know anything about the Steelers Bandwagon, I beg to differ. I’m not making shit up off the top of my head. I’m actually speaking directly from experiences from my favorite sports bar (and the drive to and from).
I took you at your word when you told me that less than 1% of the Steelers fans at the Super Bowl appeared normal and had all their teeth. You can’t extend to me that same respect when I talk about my interactions with ya’ll? How can you expect to have a rational discussion about the merits of the Steelers Bandwagon without finding some kind of middle ground?
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
calling the entire Steelers fanbase a bandwagon isn't exactly rational
But I’ll meet you halfway. Ok, I’ll believe that the people who live around you and hang out at your favorite bar are rednecks. I can believe that these types are “embarrassing” to you.
As an example of the “bandwagon” portion of the fans, I can only tell you about myself. My grandparents had season tickets for 40 years and experienced the joy of attending Superbowl 10 and 13 in person. My parents witnessed the Immaculate Reception. I myself didn’t fully jump on board until 2002. 2003 was rough, but after that greatness was at hand. And it doesn’t matter what happens next. I’ll bleed Black & Gold FOREVER.
Like I said, I love the HATE. I expect a lot more now that the Steelers are World Champions. And get ready for more. Tomlin, Big Ben, ’Tone and the rest are DANGEROUS. The experience they have now will be extremely valuable going forward. As crazy as it seems, Tomlin is now one of the most tenured and successful coaches in the NFL, with only two years at the helm.
If they can get past the ravens, they’ll be doing some damage the next few years.
"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."
Hey Steeler Ric...is this your first visit to the Beatdown???
If so, I can give you a quick rundown of what you’ll find :
1. How much they hate the Steelers
2. How much they hate the Steelers
3. How much they hate the Steelers
4. Ravens draft talk
5. How much they hate the Steelers
6. Oh No is Ray Ray leaving
7. How much they hate the Steelers
You know, I think I may have figured out what happened to these poor guys…they never got over the trauma they faced as children. I mean, look at the one guy’s tag line – “You’ve got to hate losing more than you love winning.” That’s a great line – if you’re a LOSER. I don’t know about you Steeler Ric – but I’ve LOVED the last two Super Bowl wins alot more than I hated the Steelers losing in the playoffs last year. Anyway, here’s what I think happened…..
See, one day, a few decades ago, when they were around 6 yrs old, they woke up one morning. They thought it was going to be a normal day, just like any other, but mommy came in to the room crying. “What’s wrong, mommy?” they asked. Then mommy had to explain, in between sobs, that in the middle of the night, while they were all sleeping, these big, shiny trucks pulled up to the stadium and took their team away in the middle of the night. “What, no more football team mommy?” She replied, “No little Johnny, but don’t worry. Maybe someday, just someday, we will get another team. Maybe some other team that the Steelers perennially beat like a drum, will move down here. And maybe, just maybe little Johnny, we will rename our new team after some lame Edgar Allen Poe Poem and they will dress in purple. But little Johnny, there’s also a good chance that the team that moved out of here and went to Indianapolis will some day draft one of Archie Manning’s sons, who will go on to be one of the greatest QBs in NFL History….but don’t worry little Johnny – we’ll have the awesome purple uniforms.”
So, all these Beatdown guys never really got over the shock. So now they write posts about how much they hate Pittsburgh, how they want Big Ben to be paralyzed, how they want a terrorist to blow up Heinz Field, how crappy of a city Pittsburgh is (even though they’ve never been out of the state of Maryland – I mean they’ve never been out of the city of Baltimore – and some of them probably haven’t been outside of their cardboard boxes for weeks.
Here Beatdown guys, I’ll do you a favor and write your responses for you…
MrMaLor on Feb 6, 2009 at 8:15pm I wish Big Ben was paralyzed. I wish somebody would blow up Heinz Field. Rexx Feb 6, 2009 8:18 pm MaLoR is my dog! I love paralysis! BTW guys, can anyone help me write the blog? I am having trouble coming up with new and orginal ways to say, “I hate the Steelers.” Go paralysis!!! Raven Feb 6 2009, 8:20 pmSteelers are lucky lucky lucky forward pass at end of SuperBowl lucky lucky lucky I hate the Steelers lucky Steelers lucky lucky lucky this is the end of this post lucky lucky the end boom boom Heinz Field ketchup everywhere lucky lucky lucky Ray is leaving I am going to poop my pants lucky Steelers lucky lucky lucky the end
How did this guy get on all 3 of our names and respond for us.
Insane. Too bad you didnt come up with my other original saying.
Hienz ward be paralyzed from the neck down so he can still smile. : )
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
I did love the post you made up for Raven.
That pretty much did sum up what he would say. Lol
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
Lucky Steelers with Ben's lucky escape twirls and Holme's lucky catches and Ward the lucky cheater.
and 6 lucky SB’s and a house full of lucky Hall of Famers….damn, i’ve never seen a luckier town with so little talent.
For some reason
Everytime I look at your name, I see raven in it.
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
And you need
to act like you to act like you’ve been there before. We might be envious of your success but not resentful. You beat us three times this past season and I still think we could have beaten you all three. Those were close games and you should actually thank us, as the games we played you were tougher and prepared you for your Trophy-winning drive. It’s games like this that make champions and you’ve got to admit, we are pretty close with a ROOKIE quarterback. I remember loving the old Steelers-Raiders battles in the ’70’s, most likely when you were still DNA in your daddy, so quit reminding us of how Bob Irsay ripped our hearts out. How would you have felt if Rooney moved your team to Cincinnati before Paul Brown did? Beatdown fans are great, loyal football fans. We hate the fact that the Steelers beat us, we may also hate the players personalities. However, we are football fans and respect their skills, efforts and consistent results. It would be my pleasure if we won a couple more Super Bowls and have the entire country hate us as well. Comes with the territory. Get used to it. Act like you’ve been there before.
Rexx
There’s a saying about not arguing with a certain kind of people, because they’ll bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. Well said, Rexx, but it may be best to quit while you’re ahead. Maybe put some kind of quarantine warning on this thread?
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
Nah, no warning
don’t want to get confused with the Browns’ fans, weho warn or ban anyone with an opinion that’s different from theirs.
Rexx
I’m not talking about that kind of warning. More like a bio-hazard sign next to all links directing towards this thread. You know, because of the high Steelers fan content, known to cause confusion, embarrassment, and frustration to all normal human beings.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
point taken rexx and ampallang....
although i wasn’t making that stuff up about finding stuff on here about paralysis and blow ups. But…I did what you are advising Rexx not to do…stooped down to the level and wrote a goofy post, which I would now renig on if I could. I’ve actually found Rexx and MaLor to be pretty cool dudes (again apologies MaLoR about that blast of your tag, it is actually a good one.)
For what it’s worth for one last attempt – I wish all of us (Steelers fans probably cheifest offenders of all) could raise the level of the blogs in general just a notch or two. We could debate endlessly about how close all three games were… I was at the AFC Championship Game – and I will tell you, Flacco was going to lead you guys to a game winning FG at the end of that game if that Raven guy I’ve never heard of before didn’t get flagged for a Personal Foul on your punt return. And you guys would have destroyed the Cardinals in the Super Bowl. Also I found the Ravens fans I bumped into at the game to be pretty cool, except for one guy who was walking around outside the stadium asking for a terrible towel because he had to wipe his rear, which was actually pretty funny i must admit.
I guess reading stuff about guys being paralyzed and about Myron Cope being and invalid – he actually does have an invalid son who has lived in a home since he was 4 years old (which incidentally all of the proceeds of the terrible towels go to support) made me temporarily lose my mind I guess…or as you point out ampallang, sink down to the level. I guess I should just have accepted it in the humorous way that it was intended. For what its worth accept my apologies for the post above. And you are also right about some of what you say about Steeler Nation – as a life long Steeler fan myself, some of these guys offend me as a Steeler fan.
Sorry
I get mad very easily when the Steelers are brought into the conversation. Especially since the season is now over with, and you and the rest of the Steeler fans still insist on coming over here and knocking on us cause you got this trophy by going through us. I mean, dont you guys over there at BTSC have so much other shit to discuss and blog about rather than coming over here and harassing us? We are not the only team that hates you, even though we do more than anyone.
People from your site have been constantly coming over here and making sure they let us know who won the superbowl (as apparent as 2 of the worst pictures ive seen in my entire life posted above). We understand, you guys wooped our ass 3 times, got the trophy, and represented the best division in football. Congrats. Let us gloat about how we had 20 people on IR, how the refs fucked us over, how Big Ben is > Mike Vick on his feet, but in reality, we are just pissed that we lost to you guys and dont want to admit it. Enjoy your offseason and see you next year buddy.
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
none of this would be as fun if there wasn't mutual hatred
If the ravens wouldn’t have beat the Steeler’s ass so hard in 2006, 2007 and 2008 wouldn’t be near as gratifying.
Ravens and Steelers are natural enemies.
"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."
you couldn't catch a bigger beatdown
than this year with three Steelers victories, the last of which for the ticket to Tampa. The Steelers dominated the entire AFC North in 2008.
It would have been a nightmare if ravens fans would have invaded Tampa. Instead I got to party down with the Nation.
"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."
The “Nation?” Ooohhhh. You mean the Steelers Bandwagon.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
haha "the Nation"
I put that in there just for you Ampallang
"It was an attrition football game and you know we like that."
i hope ray leaves because
he embarassed our city by losing to Pitt 3 times in one year. star or no star he has to get the hell out of here for that mess. we can’t have his bad mojo in the locker room. i’m also tired of ray saying “bottom line” at the end of every sentence and smooching Mcgahee and Reed during their little sideline U orgies that exclude 99% of the team. bottom line. we can find some else to dance over other players tackles. lol ; )
Yeah, that looks like something I’d post, not raven.
Water covers 2/3 of the Earth's surface. Ed Reed covers the rest.
rays my man but its contract time so i’m trying to beat him down a little so we get a better deal….i should go over to the dallas and ny sites and bog how bad and old he is.
Jerry Jones does not care
It is all about the image and popularity over there at Dallas. He wanted to get some controversy in his team, he brought over T.O. He wanted his team to get on TV a lot more to show off their new Stadium, he signed Pac Man. He just wants more publicity for his little cow girls.
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
i actually hope he doesn't
it will be like when hulk hogan went bad, and kevin sullivan had to retire because he didn’t have anyone to hate on anymore
Of course you dont want him to sign with us
You are scared of the shear power that we possess and how we can dominate you when we dont have 20 players on IR
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
Hulk Hogan never retired
He’ll still be wrassling when he’s 80 years old, all wrinkled but stilltanned with a few wisps of bleached hair on the edges of his head!
Rexx
although it may have helped if we didn't have three OL members who couldn't have started on a junior college team
Although I will be first to admit we owe the Titans for softening you up for us
That is very true
They really banged us up, and you guys came in for the Fatality, Mortal Kombat style
You have to hate losing more than you love winning.
maybe ray will sign with steelers...
then you guys’ skin will crawl and everyone on behindthesteelcurtain will stop calling him a murderer
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